Comments for theroades.com

Comment on The punishment should fit the crime [disciplining children] by Emmanuel T.

Emmanuel T. — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:16:27 +0000

Andreas thank you for your response, I agree with your thoughts about rewards/punishment not being solutions for discipline. I ‘m responding to this blog because I would like to share another different way of connecting with our children. The beauty of parenting is that there are other ways to be a parent but it seems like society sometimes tells us there’s only one way.

I believe that when we think of “disciplining” we need to truly communicate with our children and understand their narrative of what has brought them to a situation where a parent wants to “punish” them. Some things we may want to think about are:

1. As a parent are we in a right state of mind to communicate with our child about what has happened or have we been flooded with different emotions of anger or irritation to which it does not allow us to communicate with our child? If we want our children to understand that something they did is wrong then we should connect with them in a way they can understand. A child being held in timeout for hitting someone will not teach a child the reason of why it’s not okay to hit others. Modeling connecting language (I see that you were upset when… I am wondering if this is upsetting you…, I noticed that you were bothered by…) will allow the child to be able to express how they are feeling.

2. What information do we know has led our child to use a different strategy to express themselves? The reason I believe modeling communication is important is because it can help us learn about what has triggered the child to behave a certain way. Was the child hungry?, did something happen at school?, are they feeling sad about something?, did the child forget something or was he/she teased? Does he feel a need for attention from their parent(s)? Does he feel lonely?

These two things, I believe are a way that has helped me communicate with children. When something happens that may trigger me to get upset I make sure that I am able to regulate myself to communicate with a child (either taking deep breaths or washing my face). If we want our children to make good decisions in life then we have to model it. Also, knowing what has led a child to use a bad strategy to express himself is also important. Remember that each child’s developmental stage is like an internal clock. We may think that they should know something or behave in a particular but they may not. For this reason the key is to model connecting language. I believe this will teach them to have healthy relationships with others.

Comment on 20 great iPhone apps for preschoolers [e-parenting] by Flying with Baby

Flying with Baby — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:04:30 +0000

Flying with Baby…

[...]20 great iPhone apps for preschoolers [e-parenting] « theroades.com[...]…

Comment on December photos! by Ian

Ian — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:28:29 +0000

Your little girls are so sweet! Great photos

Comment on R and Z learn to swim under water by keisha

keisha — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 07:10:48 +0000

They look very determined to learn. You don’t have to worry kids because I know soon you will be a good swimmer. The two kids remind me of my determination too. I don’t know how to swim until now. I envy R and Z.

Comment on Videos by Abbas

Abbas — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:52:25 +0000

Your family seems awesome! Love the vids. Ustube is so clever

Comment on Photos and News! by clearh2osol

clearh2osol — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 16:32:46 +0000

Cool stuff thanks, ill be sure to check it out

Comment on Videos by Regina Jones

Regina Jones — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 07:44:38 +0000

Aw, what a beautiful family. It reminds me of when my family used to gather on holidays once upon a time. I hate how we began falling apart cos we never meet up for fun gatherings such as this one. -Regina from Karate Table View

Comment on R and Z learn to swim under water by Bryon

Bryon — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:21:48 +0000

Great hand stands and summersaults under water. Looks like she was having a great time.

Comment on Nature invades our home: our sneaky skink! by Joseph Bingham

Joseph Bingham — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:02:03 +0000

I am always amazed at the amount of different kind of animals there are. I agree it is annoying when they get in our homes, and hide in various places throughout your house including chimneys. At the same time I am glad you let the lizard live and returned it to the wild.

Comment on The punishment should fit the crime [disciplining children] by Andreas

Andreas — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 22:08:35 +0000

I think most parents don’t use the correct method of discipline, not because they are bad parents, but because they make innocent mistakes. For example toddler disciplining studies have shown that reward and punishment are actual bad solutions for discipline. The reason for this is that they both encourage fear in the child. I know what you are thinking, reward doesn’t sound like a form of fear, but more like a form of encouragement. This is not the case as reward creates fear in the child not getting the end reward. I did a review on an e-book and my opinions have completely changed on parenting. I have learnt a simple-to-follow guide on positive disciplinary techniques and have applied them with great results.

Comment on December photos! by Alfredo M. Gapuz Jr. DMD

Alfredo M. Gapuz Jr. DMD — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 14:48:07 +0000

Great photos! Looks like there were many joyous occasions at you home this last December! I love reading your blog. Keep up the great work!

Comment on The beatings will continue until morale improves… by Bob Homes

Bob Homes — Fri, 20 May 2011 16:10:43 +0000

“Rebecca and I realized this past weekend that all of our attempts at non-corporal punishment are not getting through to our darling R.”

It’s unfortunate, but sometimes physical pain is the only thing that gets through to kids. However, I believe it should be used as a last resort. You’re right; how can you teach your kid not to hit when you’re hitting them?

Comment on 20 great iPhone apps for preschoolers [e-parenting] by Monique

Monique — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 20:18:55 +0000

If you like Wheels on the Bus by Duck Duck Goose, you’ll love their other creations too: Itsy Bitsy Spider and Old MacDonald. They all have multiple pages for the verses of the song and loads of interactive characters. Certainly these apps are the most played with on my phone.

Comment on October Photos! by Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 01:38:08 +0000

Well, I think the presence of the twinkling girls surrounding you is destroying the “scary” look and giving you some glow-in-the-dark qualities!

Comment on December photos! by Heather

Heather — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:41:27 +0000

I love seeing your girls’ beautiful, smiling faces! They are such a vibrant, content-looking crew.

Comment on December photos! by Adam

Adam — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 15:39:41 +0000

Thanks, Josh! I’m more concerned with four college tuitions!! Best case scenario: four scholarships and a desire for a modest wedding or an “informed elopement” (is that a word?).

Comment on December photos! by Joshua Day

Joshua Day — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 14:00:33 +0000

Beautiful family, Adam!

Wow… four girls. That’s four weddings in about 20 years or so. Better save your pennies!

Comment on October Photos! by Adam

Adam — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 09:58:47 +0000

Haha! I’ve found that adults in costumes pretty much have three options: silly, slutty, or scary. I chose the last. Other than intimidating the kids, though, an all-black ninja costume ain’t so great for visibility on a dark Halloween night. I’ll have to think about how I can add some glow-in-the-dark strips to it for next year.

Comment on October Photos! by Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 03:42:46 +0000

Adam you look so…..intimidating?!

Comment on My new favorite Chanukah song by Michelle

Michelle — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 10:46:18 +0000

That was very interesting. Sadly there is alot that I don’t fully appreciate in that song!